My name sounds different in the funny talk

December 6, 2009 at 3:02 am 1 comment

My name is Kobe and it’s pronounced just like Kobe Bryant, the bestest basketball player in the whole NBA.  He is a superstar on my Dad’s favorite team, the Los Angeles Lakers (everyone named Kobe is a superstar.)  And just in case you think my Dad named me after him, you would be wrong.  Because remember I’m 15 years old, so if I was going to be named after one of the Lakers it would probably be Magic.  That would be a good name for a superstar too.

This is a funny story about my name.  When I was a puppy I was living with another family with my brothers and sisters and my bitch mom.  Because I was the cutest, of course, the little girls in the family loved me the best.  They called me Missy.  The Dad in that family said no, that was a girl’s name.  But I didn’t care.  Mom said I might have to get used to that, because I’m so cute people think I’m a girl dog.  I just looked at her and thought, “Well jeezesh if you wouldn’t let the hair grow so long on my belly, they might have a clue.”

Anyway, when my Mom brought me home my Dad immediately said no, Missy is a girl’s name, so he changed it.  Right about that time was a big earthquake in Kobe, Japan.  So my Dad says from now on your name is Kobe.  I was very happy with my new name and my new family.  Over the years, of course, your name starts to take on all kinds of permutations.  Kobes, Kobster, Kobalasi or sometimes just Lasi, and my Dad likes to say I’m the Prince of Such because I’m such a prince.  My Mom mostly calls me Mister and I like that name the best (but only from my Mom and Dad, don’t you ever call me that because it would be a sign of disrespect to an ancient to be so familiar.)

Mom says the way my name is spelled it would be pronounced Kobay in the funny language (Dad told me Kobay was French, is that where we are going?)   If we want people at the secret location that can’t speak our language to say my name the right way it would be spelled K-O-B-I with an I at the end instead of an E.   She said since I was used to having so many different names, we weren’t going to make it an issue if they say my name wrong or spell it incorrectly.  Who cares, I can’t spell anyway.

Live long and pawsper,

Kobe

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Entry filed under: About Me, Lakers, Secret Place.

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